


4.a.m

by Gemzy



Category: Banana Bus Squad, H2O Delirious - Fandom, VanossGaming (Video Blogging RPF)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Denial of Feelings, Epic Friendship, Eventual Smut, Fear of love, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, I wrote this at 2am so I'm sorry if it's crap, Insomnia, M/M, Philophobia, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-04
Updated: 2015-08-04
Packaged: 2018-04-12 23:59:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4499844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gemzy/pseuds/Gemzy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Evan's just madly in love with the man who has galaxies in his eyes</p>
            </blockquote>





	4.a.m

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this at 2am and I intended it to be a one shot, but I got carried away, it's a two parter first in Evan's pov then Jonathan's. Let me know what you think :) x x  
> Follow me lostindaydreams-gemz.tumblr.com and send me prompts

4.a.m

_~It's 4.am and you're keeping me from closing these sleepy eyes.  
Does the thought of me keep you up at night? _

_Music  
[Track](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_pLV94telg) & _ _[Track](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXH3YKOUeC8) _

Evan's head hurts from lack of sleep, but he was _too_ afraid to fall asleep and far _too_ tired to stay awake _,_ and everyone knows that when he's exhausted and desperate for sleep his brain to mouth _filter becomes non-existent_ and even the most simplest of questions garners a true response.

So when Brock casually asks why he can't sleep, his flippant response of _'nightmares'_ is enough to have his long-time friends worried for him. They see his constant activity online, and his non-stop work on uploading content to YouTube, and it surprises them the most when his partner in crime, the famed H2O Delirious, his best friend, the other pea in their little twosome pod, was no where to be found these days. Instead he was playing with other gamers, playing with Luke and Ohm, Ze and Max, and Evan didn't mean for the feeling of jealousy to rise up within him and for it to cloud his mind.

They made promises to each other, promising that the nights they spent wrapped up together at E3 wouldn't taint anything they had, and that their friendship was too important to risk letting it slip away and he believed it, believed in it so god-damn much, believed that the taste and feel of Jonathan's mouth wouldn't move him, that he wouldn't become addicted to it . . . and he felt like such a fool for believing that. And he doesn't know how to tell his friends that the nightmares that keep him awake at night aren't nightmares of monsters or of the ghost stories they share with each other to see who gets the most freaked out, instead, he dreams of pale skin and sky blue eyes, of nails running down his back and his best friend panting into his ear. And he's had plenty of chances to say it. Plenty chances to tell Jonathan about the confusing jumble of _emotions swirling_ within him. To tell him how much he loved, _no loves,_ his crazy laughter; how it was always so loud and boisterous, contagious, and how it warmed him from the inside out whenever he hears it.

How he loves the scowl that would cross Jonathan's face whenever he overhears someone bad-mouth his friends, how he loves his delicate limbs and his hands, hands that fit perfectly against his, loves how he’d place the tip of his tongue between his lips when he was concentrating particularly hard on something and he never told him how much he loves _his eyes_ the most. Bight and shining in the morning sunlight, the sky blue colour darkening like the ocean, tsunami tides clouding over his eyes before his eyelids would flutter shut as he kissed down Jonathan's exposed throat, nibbling and marking the pale flesh.

He loves him and he doesn't know how to tell him.

All those times when they were he and Jonathan were alone and everything was quiet, neither of them needing to fill the comfortable silence between them. All those times Jonathan would flirt with him and he would playfully tease back, he would always pass it off as a silly joke, just Jonathan being Jonathan. Coy and light-hearted, flirting with everyone happily.

After every group gathering of them and their loud, rambunctious group of friends, after ever shot of alcohol he had, hell, he could have done it after the birthday party everyone threw for his 23rd and if it didn't work out, if Jonathan pulled away, then he could have said it was just the alcohol talking. Any time, any fucking time at all he could have just said the god-damn truth, but he didn't. And he could remember all the times they spent together at E3. When they finally persuaded Jonathan to come to a convention, trusting everyone to keep his identity a secret. The electric looks that they shared, the nerve tingling touches, that lingered too long to be friendly, both of them sneaking away from parties to linger in dark corners and exchange heated kisses that tasted of southern comfort and cherry cola then both of them falling into hotel beds together. Again and again.  
The feel of skin on skin. The warmth of it all, it tore away at him. Took away all his ambition and replaces it with lust. He wanted to feel, to taste. His entire body throbbing with want. His heart threatening to beat out of his chest, and Jonathan would just smirk at him, knowing exactly what he was doing to his body.

He loved it, loved seeing that smirk, loved watching the smirk contort in pleasure as Jonathan twisted and writhed beneath him. His pale skin bruised and marked up good, and Evan remembered when he shifted his hips _just right_ , it had left Jonathan shaking and moaning with Evan's name _slipping out his parted lips_ , and Evan _doesn't_ think he's ever loved _anyone_ this much before.

The memory of that night haunts his every moment, when he closes his eyes for even a second all he sees is bruised lips and lust blown blue eyes, his mind showing him in perfect clarity just what Jonathan looked like wrapped around him, the images always end with Evan pressing one hand into his crotch, the burning blood-filled stretch of his cock pounding with his heartbeat. Jonathan's name on the tip of his tongue as pleasure races through his veins the lingering feeling afterwards leaving him feeling hollow and lonely.

Sleep isn't something that happens a lot anymore, as he's grateful because it helps him talk to all his friends, without having to worry about missing them, they help ground him, not as much as a maniacal laughter, but they do their best. And together they make their plans for PAX, agreeing on hotels and airlines and when they would all be arriving and who would pick each other up, meeting arrangements etc. . .   
Marcel letting everyone know that Jonathan would be travelling with Luke, which made sense seeing as they both lived near each other, but despite that knowledge it doesn't stop the feeling of sadness from welling up within Evan that Jonathan didn't tell him himself and left Marcel to pass on the message.

Did he regret what happened between them that much?

The months after E3 he thought were great, they played together as normal, so why had Jonathan decided to up and leave, and as Evan thinks on it, he can't help wonder what it was he's done wrong.

 

The days blur by for Evan, only counted by Marcel and Nogla's excitedly counting down the days for PAX and for them all to be together again. As the days get closer, he feels himself getting more and more apprehensive and anxious. How does he act? How does he talk? How does he hide his very obvious affection for his best friend? The other's know, he's sure.

He can hear the pity in their voices when Jonathan doesn't turn up to recording and they can hear the excitement and contentment in _his_ voice when he does show up. Nogla cooing at him when he sighs at the sound of Jonathan's laughter.

His bags are packed and waiting by his bedroom door, he feels jittery and his heart thumps in his chest at the thought of seeing Jonathan again, he doesn't know why he's acting this way and he vaguely wonders if anyone has ever died from the overwhelming feeling of loving someone so much.

When the day of PAX finally arrives he can't sit straight, he fidgets in his plane seat, staring out the window beside him to avoid looking at the old lady sitting beside him with a knowing look in her aged eyes. He almost runs people over trying to get off the plane and then he's in the airport, luggage in hand and peering over the heads of the people greeting their loved ones trying to spot any of his friends.

“Evan!”

Spinning around he feels a smile stretch across his face as he spots his friendly giant of a friend.

“Tyler,” he laughs as he's pulled into a bone crushing hug that he's enthusiastically returns and over Tyler's shoulder he can see Tyler's girlfriend Kelly talking to Craig, both their heads bowed in conversation. Brock is with them and he waves at him, smiling happily at most of their friends being reunited.

“You look like shit,” Are the first words out Tyler's mouth when they pull apart and the bluntness of it makes a surprised laugh bubble up and out of Evan's mouth. A small smile twitches at the side of Tyler's mouth and disappears as his sharp eyes look at the smudged black marks under his friend's eyes.

Evan stops laughing when he sees his old friends worried look, “I'm alright, honestly. I got some sleep on the plane.” He didn't, but Tyler doesn't need to know that. He doesn't know if Tyler believes him or not, but he turns and walks over to the others, motioning Evan to follow him and after getting squeezed almost to death by the others they're making their way to the hotel, the main meeting place for everyone to meet. Boston was a cool place, Evan thought as he looked out the window, watching the scenery pass him by. He wasn't really paying attention to the conversation around him until he heard Luke and Jonathan's names' being mentioned, tuning back in he asked Craig to repeat himself.

“Luke and Jonathan will arrive later on today,” Craig repeated, his tone gentle, “Their flight was delayed and won't be here till like 7pm.” he smiled before adding, “He said, and I quote, ' _Don't let Hoodini disappear'”_

Evan could feel himself flush under his friends knowing looks, all of them trying to hide their smiles. And now thanks to Jonathan, Evan wouldn't be able to disappear like he used to do at conventions when things got a little too much for him, not that he would want to, Jonathan would be here again, he wouldn't want to leave.

* * *

 As the hours passed he felt himself getting more – energized, after getting to the hotel they had all went to their rooms and settled down before heading to meet the rest of their rag-tag group. Nogla and Marcel were more like kids in a candy shop than actual grown ups and being around them made him feel more alive than he had in a long time. Their energy and enthusiasm seeped into him and he found himself giggling along with them at practically everything. Adam had made plans with Craig to meet at a local club and after texting Jonathan the location they had ordered drinks and made fools of themselves on the dance floor. And that's how Jonathan found them, hysterically laughing at Nogla's dance moves and falling over each other. Their friend was _spastically moving_ his body in no rhythm to the music blasting through the air and Brian was cheering him on _“Yer so sexy Nogla, shake that booty. Yeah!”_

Stumbling over his own two feet, the anxiety he previously felt made a return as he stood in front of those blue eyes. Jonathan smiled up to him as Luke patted him on the back and went to laugh at the others who where tying, and failing, to show Nogla _“how to dance”_.

“Hey,” he breathed, unsure of what to say.

“Hey, yourself.” Jonathan replied back, looking up at him through his black lashes. He looked around and Evan was mesmerized with the way the strobe lights reflected in his eyes. The music pounding through his veins and matching the sound of the heartbeat in his ears. Jonathan's dark hair fell over his forehead in a way that makes him want to run his fingers through it, he's wearing dark jeans and a shirt that looks like it might be dark blue, but he can't tell in the darkness of the club. He's turned his attention back up to Evan and the way he's biting at his bottom lip makes Evan want to tell him that he loves him, and chant those words in a whisper until he can’t speak anymore.

He doesn't though, not yet.

Later after being inviting back to someone's house party, some YouTuber's name Evan can't remember who rented the place for the PAX convention. There's a lot of people and Evan's a little bit too tipsy that he can't remember the names that have just been introduced to him. His focus is elsewhere on the tall blonde haired man talking in a low voice with Jonathan, the blonde man who throws his head back and lets out a surprised laugh at something Jonathan says. His laugh is deep and light, the sound of it turning various heads around the room, but to his own hears, it sounds to plain and _normal._

“Smile” he hears someone say beside his ear, “Your jealousy is showing,” and when he turns he sees Lui standing beside him with an amused look in his eyes.

Lui laughs with wide eyes when Evan pouts at him. Evan pouting! Lui turns on his heel and scrambles to find Nogla, or Marcel, he needs to tell someone that Evan's been body snatched!! And been replaced with someone who POUTS!!  
Shaking his head his brown eyes scan back around the room and catch Jonathan's who smiles at him before turning back to his conversation with the stranger. Like who the _fuck_ was this guy anyway, with his tanned skin and obviously dyed blonde hair, the dude was wearing _sunglasses, inside at NIGHT!!_ Of all things. He hears a laugh and when he turns his head again he sees Adam and someone he recognizes as Chilled Chaos or Anthony as he introduces himself as, both of them are watching Jonathan and 'friend' giggling like children. Adam catches his eye and pats the empty space beside him, “Come, my child,” Adam coos, “Let us laugh at the bountiful sight before us.”

He raises his eyebrows in question when Adam mouths the words _'train wreak'_ at him.

Down at the side of the sofa he spots an old guitar, grabbing it he throws himself down beside Adam and shakes Anthony's hand, “S'up man,” he greets them, eyes still lingering on Jonathan as his hands fiddle with the guitar. He finds that it's only slightly out of tune when he strums his fingers over it, but that's easy to fix and as he's busy tuning it he hears Anthony's New York accent happily coo out “Zeee”

When he looks up he sees Anthony's arms wrapped tightly around a bearded man's waist. He smiles at them, and how they gently talk to each other because their friendship reminds him of how he and Jonathan used to be, playful flirting and teasing.

Happy and as easy as breathing.

 

Through the now crowded living room he manages to once again catch Jonathan's eyes, before Brian cuts through his line of sight and he drops down to sit at his feet. Brian's head rests against his knee as he looks up at him, catching sight of the guitar the Irish man asks if he can play, Evan nods, running his fingers down the frets he strums the stings looking over at Jonathan, his eyes burned in his face, a deep clear sapphire, they were wide and dark, like pools Evan wanted to drown in.

“ _I write songs about you all the time, I bet I don't run through your mind.”_ he sang lightly, his melodic voice catching the attention of the other party guests.

His face flushes as everyone turns their attention to him, he doesn't know what to do, should he continue the song that runs in circles around his head – _fuck everyone was still staring at him expectantly._

“Here, here, pass it here,” Anthony chants excitedly, breaking Evan from his thoughts and he gratefully hands it over. Everyone holds their breaths, waiting to see what Anthony's going to play.

Anthony takes a deep breath and strums a tune that has half the people who have gathered face-palming and Adam singing/screaming at the top of his lungs ' _N_ _ _A NA NA NA NA NA NA'__ _and from the kitchen they heard a cheer of '_ _BATMAN_ _!!!'_

Evan hears Jonathan laugh loudly along with the crowd and he feels himself _melt_ at the sound. He looks around and catches the green eyes of Ze who's looking at him with a sad look in his eyes. Ze stands from where he's sitting squished up next to Anthony and waves at him to follow, shrugging he stands and follows the man, not noticing the two pairs of eyes that watch them go, Ze walks through the kitchen and grabs two beers from the counter next to Nogla and Tyler who both nod at him as he passes and walks out into the back garden. The brisk wind rips at his hair and he barely represses a shiver as he feels goose bumps rise on his skin.

When Ze speaks, Evan laughs. He didn't realize he was in the presences of a fellow Canadian, and it makes Evan feel instantly more at ease.

“Sorry asking you to come out here but as much as I loved Chilled and SeaNanners, they don't have very good singing voices.” Ze ends with a fond chuckle. “And it looked like you could use a break” he added.

Evan nods and before he can speak Ze's talking again, “I'm sorry,” he says, and the apology has him tilting his head, thinking back to any offence this man might have caused him, even though he's just met him tonight, his mind comes up blank and he looks down at him in confusion. Ze just looks over his shoulder back into the glass door, “Your friends think I'm up to something with you,” and the smaller man lets out a light laugh.

“Oh –“ Evan's flattered, really he is. Ze is pretty cute, with his dark curly hair and his eyes are as bright as Jonathan's, only their green, like emerald sparkling in the moonlight above them.

“I'm flatt –

Ze cuts him off with a snot, his hand covering his face as he laughs. Evan tilts his head again, confusion adorably crossing his face. Ze calms and looks back up at Evan, “I'm already in love with someone.”

“Oh – I don't get it” He doesn't know why Ze would bring him out here if it wasn't anything to do with him.

“It's Anthony.” Ze says as casually as he could, but Evan can see a flush crawling up his neck to his cheeks and soon his ears are a bright pink.

Anthony – Ze's best friend – and the pieces fall into place.

“Who told you?” Evan feels anger bubbling under his skin, no one had any right spreading rumours about Jonathan, he didn't care if shit was said about him but not Jonathan, never him.

“No one. I just know because I can see it.”

The flash of anger _left as quickly as it_ had come, leaving him feeling light-headed and dizzy. Moving to the patio seats he lowered himself in one before looking back up at the green eyes carefully watching him.

“What do you want to know?” he asked warily, unsure if he should just walk away and pretend this conversation never happened or not.

“Was it worth it?” The question was blunt and straight to the point, and it made the air in Evan's lungs leave all at once as he struggled to control his breathing.

Was it worth it?

Was it worth the agonizing hours he spent afterwards thinking he had ruined one of the only good things in his life? Was it worth the sleepless nights, because every time he closed his eyes he dreamt of Jonathan? Was it worth having the knowledge of how Jonathan tasted, how warm and tight he was, of knowing exactly how deep he had to go to make Jonathan sing? Was it worth it?

“Yeah,” _He choked and gasped, tears coming to his eyes, he clears his throat and tries to swallow past the lump that has suddenly formed in his throat he swallows again, and it's like he's choking._

He takes a deep breath and looks back up, “I wouldn't go back and change it for anything.”

He admits, and he can't describe the look on Ze's face; a mix of awe and deep, impenetrable sadness.

“Thank you,” Ze mummers and he lifts the two bottles that still remain in his hands and offers one to Evan who gratefully takes it and with a flick of his wrist it's open and he's taking long- deep pulls from it. The low alcohol percentage barely burning his throat, but it's something to distract him from his thoughts.They both stay in comfortable silence, both lost in their own worlds and he's not ashamed to admit that he jumps when Anthony comes running out the door to hide behind Ze when Adam and Craig come running out with water guns.

“Ze, save me, save me,” Anthony chants, his long arms clinging to Ze's waist. “You'll never take me alive coppers.”

Evan watches in fascination, wondering if this is how other people looked at his and Jonathan's friendship, but as he looks closer he can see the longing, though hidden well, in Ze's eyes.

“What did you do now?!” Ze put his unopened bottle of beer on the ground and put his hands on his hips and looks down at the older man still clinging to him.

“Nothing , I swear I'm innocent.” The comment earns a snort from both Ze _,_ Adam _and_ the crowd that had gathered in the kitchen laughing at them.

“You have 10 seconds to run and hide Chilled, before we come after _yooou_ ” Adam's creepy singsong voice sends shudders up Evan's spine as he watches in amusement as Anthony drags a very willing Ze to go hide with him, before they leave though Ze sends him a smile and a mouthed _thank you_ and then they're gone, getting lost in the bodies that crowd the house.

“Think they'll get together?” Adam asks offhandedly looking into the house, the conversation between Tyler who's standing at the kitchen door with Craig goes quiet.

“What?” Adam defends, “They're practically made for each other, and Chilled single, him and what's it. . . .JESS!! AHA I REMEMBERED, broke up ages ago.”

“So you don't mind your friends being gay?” Tyler asked, his focus solely on Adam, intent and serious.

“Of course not, who you love has nothing to do with me or anyone else for that matter” Adam says, before turning and winking at Tyler, “Unless you've got the hots for me big boy.”

Tyler blinked blankly at him for a few seconds, taking in Adam fluttering his eyelashes at him then laughs loudly, his endearing wheezy laugh was contagious and soon everyone else was laughing with him.

“Alright Mini, I think that's been enough time for Chilled and Ze to hide. Let's go get them.” He pumped his water gun like a shotgun before the two of them take off into the house to hunt down their prey. Tyler watched them go, shaking his head, “You'd think we were baby-sitting a bunch of hyperactive kids.” he said as he took a seat next to him. “What did the little guy want?” Tyler enquired quietly as he picked up the unopened beer and cracked it open, taking a drink and waiting for Evan to reply.

“He wanted to know what it would be like to fuck his best friend.”

Tyler chocked and coughed, beer spurted out his noise. “WHAT THE FUCK EVAN!”

Patting Tyler on the back, he forced a laugh and quickly went into the kitchen to get some kitchen paper, on the way back out he closed the door and offered Tyler the tissue. “You asked.”

Sitting back down and he continued his gentle pats on Tyler's back, “Do I need to go get Kelly to help you or something?” he asked worriedly, maybe he shouldn't have been so honest.

“No, no. I'm good.” They sat in silence, both breathing in the cold night air h _is breath_ was foggy and warm and it became white mist in the _cold_. “Pretty,” he murmured when he looked up at the clear night sky and he tried counting the stars but there were too many _stars_ to _count,_

“Did he really ask that?”

Turning his head to Tyler and out of the corner of his eye, he watched him deeply breath in and out. “No, not really. But it was along those lines.”

“Because of Chilled?”

“Yeah,” he repeated, “At the start I assumed he was going to confess to me,” Evan laughed, feeling ridiculous at not noticing the attraction between them in the living room before.

“So when he means _'what it would be like to fuck his best friend',_ he means – have you... _”_ Tyler trailed off.

Evan braced himself, he was sure the others already knew about his feelings, but confessing them to their faces and confirming them was an entire different story. He could do this. This was Tyler, and even though he acted like a little shit most of the time, and called people gay, Evan knew deep down that he wouldn't intentionally hurt his friends, he loved them and Evan knew that he could trust him.

Deep breath.

“Me and Jonathan.”

He closed his eyes, waiting for the inevitable screech of _WHAT THE FUCK!_ From Tyler. He waited and waited, but it never came. _Maybe I've blown his mind,_ Evan thought a little too concerned at his friends silence.

Reopening his eyes he looked at Tyler . . . who was staring right back at him. His pale gaze, unwavering and Tyler blinked at him. _“And. . . .”_ Tyler trailed off again.

“What do you mean _and?_ Aren't you surprised? I just told you me and Jonathan fucked, _had sex”_

Tyler groaned, his hands covering his ears, “Please spare me the details, I don't want to imagine you or Jonathan naked and . . . _canoodling”_

Evan snorted at the phrase, “You're turning into an old man.”

Tyler huffed and leaned back on the flimsy patio chair, “So you and Jonathan then?”

He hummed out an agreement, and looked back up at the sky while memories of them together flashing though his head. “He actually didn't ask what it was like.” he began, getting Tyler's attention again, “Ze. He asked if it was worth it.” Tyler was silent again, and he could practically hear the cogs turning in his head. “Was it?” he finally asked.

His brown eyes looked into Tyler's and he said, _“Yes,”_ which so much sincerity that something deep within Tyler tugged at his heart. His best friend was in love with their other best friend, and he was so out of his depth on what to say to him. He couldn't just say, _'Don't worry bud, everything will be okay'_ cause he didn't know if it would be or not. But Evan was continuing on and Tyler was lost in the current of words streaming from Evan's mouth.

“I wouldn't go back and change it for anything in the world.” Evan began, “He tastes like strawberries, did you know that? It's addicting and I don't think I could live without the knowledge of that.” he laughs, and it sounds broken even to Tyler's own ears. “His laugh – god. The sound of it, I know people think it's creepy, but it's not. And it's not forced, or fake and when I hear it I _feel_ happy. He has eyes I could fucking drown in Tyler, if I could I honestly would. He's smart and brave, he's honest and he's loyal to those he cares about. He loves all his fans, he does so much for all of us. Helps everyone; even if it's at his on expense. I've not slept properly since the the first night at E3, because every time I close my eyes I see him. His hands, his mouth, his throat, the way he clung to me, digging his nails–"

Tyler's dumbstruck, he didn't think Evan felt this much for Jonathan. He thought that it was just physical, just a moment of drunken desire clouding their mind and lowering their inhibitions, but hearing Evan talk about Jonathan and seeing his face cloud over with longing and misery, he knew he was undeniably wrong.

“He made me feel alive.” Evan whispered, “I mean, I know I'm alive. I breath, I think. But, when I was with him, even just hanging out, talking random nonsense, I felt alive. Like I wasn't alone, that someone understood me for me and not as Vanoss. I felt like I could do anything, he made me feel _like_ a normal person again, make me _feel like_ **I** _mattered_. And I know I do matter, I know I have a lot of people who care about me, but Tyler, he knows me , the real me.” He smiles half-heartedly at Tyler who's still looking at him with wide, shocked eyes.

Evan tilts his face back up at the night sky, the stars twinkling back at him.

“He told me stories, silly stories that you would tell children at night time as their bedtime stories, things like the story about _'how the sun loved the moon so much he died every night to let her breathe'_ he said it was his favourite and that his mother told it to him and his sister when they were children. He talked about the future and how great everyone was, how big we were all going to become, never once did he mention himself.” He can feel his throat tightening up as he remembers curling his large body around Jonathan's smaller one, tracing the shapes of bruises his mouth had left on his lithe body, and gently caressing the long slope of his back that was littered with small moles like stars, fallen from the sky and splattered across his skin. Evan never tired of looking at them, tracing patterns with his eyes and fingertips: constellations, supernovas, entire solar systems. They were all there.

“It’s like you’re made of sunlight, and all the stars are drawn to you,” he remembered mumbling to him, pressing his lips to each and ever mole he could reach, and listening to Jonathan splutter in his talk about the future before hiding his flushed cheeks in the pillow beside his head.

He was in love with the man who has _galaxies_ _in his eyes_

“I was never meant to be great,” Evan said, the words catching in his throat, “But he makes me feel like I can be.” His eyes dark with unshed tears and he turns to look at Tyler who just shakes his head and pulls him in and hugs him tightly. “I don't know what to do Tyler. I don't.” He confesses, the tears that he's desperately trying to hold in slip free and run down his cheeks.

“I know man,” Tyler soothes, trying to calm him with gentle pats on his back. Catching Craig and Brock's worried eyes through the glass door as they watch their usually strong Canadian beefcake of a friend break down in Tyler's arms.

“I think you need to go see Jonathan.” Tyler breaths, Jonathan needs to know how Evan feels and if Evan doesn't let him know, the feelings would curdle him from the inside out, ruin him, tarnish everything he had ever hoped for and achieved, but Tyler would not allow it.

“Dry your eyes,” Tyler gently commanded to older man, “Jonathan's inside talking to some douchebag, go talk to him.”

Evan nodded, untangling himself from Tyler's grasp and ran the back of his hands across his eyes, “Sorry” he muttered, he took a deep breath and stood nodding at Tyler and in typical Evan fashion, he’d blended false laughter with false confidence, grinning at everyone he passed by as he made his way to the the oblivious object of his affection.  
_"Can we talk for a minute?_ he whispered softly into his ear, ignoring the glare from the blonde man who was still talking to Jonathan. He watches as Jonathan worries his bottom lip between his teeth, and peered up at him through storm-cloud eyes, the blue of his iris darkening, he feels his heart thumping in his chest and for an agonizingly long second he thinks that Jonathan might reject him then his shoulders slump in relief as Jonathan nods.

Evan glances sideways at the blonde man who's getting a little riled up at his companion being taken away and he flashes him a smile that is all sharp and sly around the edges and he wraps his arm around Jonathan not even trying to hide it's flirtatious intent. The man's face flushes with anger and when their eyes meet the stranger flinches at Evan's gaze, it's one full of malice and anger and his eyes flash dangerously , remembering the way the strangers had tried to dance with Jonathan at the club they were at a few hours ago. He heard snorts of amusement coming from the various friends surrounding them as they watched the man flee from the scene with a metaphorical tail between his legs.

“That wasn't nice,” Jonathan chided, only half serious and hiding his smile into his hand. And Evan shrugged laughing lightly, his arm still wrapped snugly around Jonathan's waist and he tugged him towards the stairs and up to the inevitable conversation they were about to have.

It was now or never

**Author's Note:**

> Liked it? Then please review it & send me more prompts.


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